Two Churches - both Practicing
By Jeff Smith |
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I spent Sunday morning between two churches. My 12-year-old daughter wanted to try out her new skateboard so we headed to the nearest skate-park. We like to get there early before the crowds, so we pulled in around 9 AM.
It was cold for western Washington yesterday morning and I tried to be the faithful dad and sit on the incredibly cold cement side and watch. I lasted about 10 minutes and soon retreated to the car (and its heater). As I was sitting there, watching my daughter between page-turns of my book and start/stops of the car so the heater could work, I noticed two churches revving to life around me.
Church #1
The first – which I’ll call Foundations Church - meets in one of the public buildings across from our community skate-park. Their parishioners share the parking lot with those of us “skating”. Each of the 50-60 year-old couples attending were dressed very nicely and politely smiled as I smiled at them getting out of their cars. They hurried from the parking lot to the meeting without a look at the skate-park.
 Church #2
The second church is the one my daughter was worshipping in – the skate-park. Watching my daughter through my warm windshield I realize that she loses herself in the very same way her father used to lose himself on the basketball court. There’s a flow to the movement and the repetition is not boring but harmonic to her. There were a number of other worshippers with her and they too, in their own ways, worshipped in the flow also.
Worshipping Mom
What made that skate-park an even more sacred place was a family of four that pulled up after the Foundations couples had parked and departed. The family had two sons, carrying their boards, as well as a father carrying his. The mom, boardless, had a large cup of coffee, a Sunday paper and a big trash-bag.
The coffee and the paper I understood, but I wondered what she needed the trash-bag for. She promptly set down the coffee and the paper and proceeded to pick up every piece of trash she could find in that skate-park. Her sons acted as though it was the most normal thing in the word – Mom always picks up trash here, no biggie – and she chatted with different skaters as she picked up empty bottles and assorted litter.
I don’t know why but it brought tears to my eyes. In this crazy mixed-up world, where I feel more at home (or at church) with my daughter at a skate-park on a Sunday morning, this woman was worshipping in such an elemental way. I think Jesus would have picked up trash – I think it would have seemed the most natural (and maybe supernatural) thing in the world to him if he was there on that morning.
In-Between-ers
I mean no disrespect to those older couples heading off to church. They find God in a different place than my daughter – such has always been the case. But what about those of us “in between” – unable to tolerate the ‘Bible-study’ that our parents find so essential and wondering why the skate-parks of our world don’t count in the sacred category?
Kid-pick
I have a friend who was doing a workshop on the east coast a few months ago and he met a fellow named A.J. My friend said A.J. was one of the toughest men he’d ever met – gruff and strong for his 70+ years.
In the course of the workshop, A.J. mentioned that the church he was attending didn’t really matter to his children or grandchildren.
My friend asked him, “If you had to pick between the two, who would you pick – your family or your church?”
A.J. didn’t hesitate, “Why I’d choose my family – every time.”
Whose Thinking
I wonder if that’s not the biggest difference between me (a 39-year-old church-kid turned church-alumni) and my parents? I’d rather be with my 12-year-old. I’m actually more interested in what she considers sacred then what I think I know is sacred. Perhaps I don’t’ know what’s sacred anymore at all – that’s a possibility.
A question
Which leaves me with a question that I am going to pursue with young and old alike –
“What do your children (or grand-children) think?”
I find that I enjoy the prospects of that question for several reasons:
- It doesn’t put anyone on the defensive. I’m really asking a parent (or grand-parent) what their child thinks.
- They’re not defending anything of their own.
- That answer matters more than what we (as 40 or 50 or 60 year olds) think – at least in terms of time left to do anything about what we think.
- The description of someone else’s thinking often tells you more about the describer than you would otherwise get.
Such a description taps something deep in all of us as parents and grand-parents.
It’s not that we want to be “in the know” as much as we (each of us) want to be known – especially by those who are next, those who will shape policy and grandchildren and even great-children that we will never see on this side.
Resolution
So, my self-proposition is two-fold. I will seek to:
- Ask the “What do your children think?” question and listen, as well as
- Look for church in the unlikely (and simultaneous) places
...Where passion, flow and imagination breath the fresh air of a good God who is constantly speaking in Foundation bible-studies and bag-ladies and everything (and everyone) in between.
 Jeff Smith is on the board of Off The Map and writes for The Practicing Church blog. He has coached basketball for 12 years and is currently the middle school mathematics coach in Issaquah School District, representing that district in the Microsoft Math Partnership. He is also studying in the Organizational Systems and Renewal program (www.osr-nw.org) at Seattle University (www.seattleu.edu), specializing in organizational guiding through authentic conversations. Jeff was the associate pastor of Calvary Chapel San Juan in Friday Harbor, WA for two years. |
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Jeff, I wanted to say that your article really makes one think about how we minister to the world in which we live in on a daily basis. I attend worship in a emerging celtic orthodox Anglican commnunity, but our call is to minister to those in the world, whether that be the skate park, the coffee shop, our work, the store, etc.
Both of our children play competative soccer and we find that we miss service on Sunday's for some of their matches. Even though I crave to be in the safe environment of our service with other members of our community, it is the hurting world that needs us ministernig to them more and being at the field is sometimes more important possibly then being with our community for one Sunday. We are called to be the hands and feet of God to a hurting world and sometimes we can't do that in our "church buildings" and we need to be "in the world" but "not of the world" as scripture reminds us.
I would ask the question as well as, how many "christians" parents would have first of all come to the skate park with their kids and secondly, make it a priority to pick up trash to beautify to skate board. That is the hard question.
I would love to communicate more with Jeff on this subject if you are interested.
Kerrisa, Thanks for responding to my article. I find it intriguing that you associate my daughter's enjoyment (what I even call worship) with all the other attributes of an "assembly of believers". You seem to assume that the skate-park is the only place that we (me and my daughter in this case) attend church or "assemble with believers". My belief is that we assemble with believers quite often and that oversight and accountability is there - although not in the traditional church (as I was attempting to contrast in the article). As a parent I'm sure you hope that your children find strength and help in tough times (because they do inevitably come as you mention), but to assume that the skate-park is the sum total of my daughter's (or my) assembling of believers is intriguing. As to your last point about rejecting worldliness and embracing personal holiness, I hope my daughter and I are doing both, but my prayer is that we're each doing that in a manner consistent with Jesus - who was/is counted a friend among the tax-collectors and prostitutes. I would submit that personal holiness is scripturally in league with public (or corporate) holiness as well. To the extent that we (all of us as apprentices of Jesus) seek both, that is the extent to which I think we're "in line with Scripture". Thank you for reading and responding to the article.
Be well, Jeff
Charlie, Thanks for the comment. I couldn't agree more that if we (as parents or friends or whatever) can't embody and exemplify an ongoing "living in the presence of God" (as you put it) we're doing a huge dis-service to those around us. As you mention, Jesus seemed very capable of this presence regardless of where he found himself. Thank you again for that insight.
Be well, Jeff
Jason, Thanks for your comments. While I agree that Jesus is (always) more, I find it intriguing that you can know that my daughter didn't find Jesus there. As to your question about whether I worshiped Jesus or not that morning, I would say I did, but then we get into definitions of worship etc. I hope that I'm not placing my daughter on an idolatrous pedestal, but thanks for the heads-up - it never hurts to be reminded that that's a possibility. To your final point (a quaint family gathering) I think Jesus spent much more time among those types of gatherings than he did in the synagogue. In fact, of Jesus' 160+ conversations, only 10 or so took place in the synagogue. I think skateparks would have qualified as those "other places" that Jesus seemed to thrive in. I would submit that we (as apprentices and followers of Jesus) can always keep God as the center regardless of where we find ourselves (skate-parks included) and that that awareness is key. Quaint or not. Thank you again for your responses.
Be well, Jeff
If our sons and daughters don't find Jesus at the skatepark, why is that? Is it because Jesus isn't there? He only resides in church buildings? Is that your point? "Church" meetings last one or two hours a week, that leaves another 160 plus hours for us to walk with Jesus in our daily lives. Do your children live outside of the church walls? I hope so, and if they do, I hope they find Jesus there. If so, it will be because their parents have shown them how to live in the presence of God every day and every where they go in life. I hope that you are living this example and training your children how to do it. By the way, it seems to me you missed the entire point of the article.
"What do your children think?"
My children, when asked what church is, say it's a place where we learn about God and worship Him. They like church and are excited to go there.
Sounds like you've thrown the baby out with the bathwater, and are proud to be doing so -- like you're "reinventing" what wasn't appealing to you about church by simply not attending and having some poetic thoughts about your disobedience to the command "do not forsake the assembly of believers."
I sure hope your daughter's skateboard is there for her to lean upon when a relative gets cancer, or she's bullied and rejected in school, or her marriage is falling apart, or her husband is laid off from work, or she has a miscarriage. She can just go to the skate park. Her fellow skaters will also be there to support her in myriad ways while she goes through life's trials. She will feel the presence of The Great Skateboard in her life, coasting with her through her struggles, providing her with direction and reassurance. The real, personal love of a Skateboarder Greater Than Herself will give her the strength to reject the world's temptations and embrace personal holiness.
Dude, you need to get your thinking in line with Scripture. But since you've removed accountability and oversight from your life, I wonder how that will go for you? Best wishes. You have an interesting site.
It's early, and I'm off to work, but I have a few quick comments...
First, I don't think your daughter is finding Jesus at the skate park. She's finding entertainment, and Jesus is much more than that. While I think it's great that you feel the presence of Christ there, did you actually take the time to worship Him?
Second, when you find your daughter's idea of sacred to look more like your own, I think that this looks more like placing your daughter upon a pedestal rather than loving God with all that is in you and placing Him upon the pedestal (or throne).
The early church found "church" in the presence of other believers while focusing on God as the center. The skate park as the center, even with your family in attendance, is just a quaint family gathering... but not church.
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Both of our children play competative soccer and we find that we miss service on Sunday's for some of their matches. Even though I crave to be in the safe environment of our service with other members of our community, it is the hurting world that needs us ministernig to them more and being at the field is sometimes more important possibly then being with our community for one Sunday. We are called to be the hands and feet of God to a hurting world and sometimes we can't do that in our "church buildings" and we need to be "in the world" but "not of the world" as scripture reminds us.
I would ask the question as well as, how many "christians" parents would have first of all come to the skate park with their kids and secondly, make it a priority to pick up trash to beautify to skate board. That is the hard question.
I would love to communicate more with Jeff on this subject if you are interested.
Be well, Jeff
Be well, Jeff
Be well, Jeff
My children, when asked what church is, say it's a place where we learn about God and worship Him. They like church and are excited to go there.
Sounds like you've thrown the baby out with the bathwater, and are proud to be doing so -- like you're "reinventing" what wasn't appealing to you about church by simply not attending and having some poetic thoughts about your disobedience to the command "do not forsake the assembly of believers."
I sure hope your daughter's skateboard is there for her to lean upon when a relative gets cancer, or she's bullied and rejected in school, or her marriage is falling apart, or her husband is laid off from work, or she has a miscarriage. She can just go to the skate park. Her fellow skaters will also be there to support her in myriad ways while she goes through life's trials. She will feel the presence of The Great Skateboard in her life, coasting with her through her struggles, providing her with direction and reassurance. The real, personal love of a Skateboarder Greater Than Herself will give her the strength to reject the world's temptations and embrace personal holiness.
Dude, you need to get your thinking in line with Scripture. But since you've removed accountability and oversight from your life, I wonder how that will go for you? Best wishes. You have an interesting site.
First, I don't think your daughter is finding Jesus at the skate park. She's finding entertainment, and Jesus is much more than that. While I think it's great that you feel the presence of Christ there, did you actually take the time to worship Him?
Second, when you find your daughter's idea of sacred to look more like your own, I think that this looks more like placing your daughter upon a pedestal rather than loving God with all that is in you and placing Him upon the pedestal (or throne).
The early church found "church" in the presence of other believers while focusing on God as the center. The skate park as the center, even with your family in attendance, is just a quaint family gathering... but not church.